Has God ever put someone in your life who said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time? This week has been exhausting and I haven’t written for a couple of days because I was tired and because if I had written, there would have been a LOT of grumbling. Since I’m trying to do less of that, it seemed better to just keep silent.
One thing I realized today about the time I spent lamenting and ruminating about certain things that transpired this week, is that it prevented me from thinking about stuff. It’s not that I wasn’t thinking – I was just thinking about all the wrong stuff. The stuff that keeps spinning around over and over again in my head as I have imaginary conversations with people or hop up on a figurative soap box to tell the world just what’s what.
There’s no refreshment or renewal in this kind of thinking – instead it’s more like enslavement. The beautiful thing about writing is that it allows me to be creative, to put the right words together or to tell a story, and in that act of putting words on paper, I’m rejuvenated. It’s difficult to explain, but even if you’re not a writer, it’s the feeling that you get when you’ve created or accomplished something that was an expression of yourself. Writing is virtually impossible for me without first having the time to think.
Today I was talking with a friend and she mentioned that her husband had been at a retreat and had the opportunity to do nothing but think for a couple of hours. Hearing that gave me a mixed feeling of jealousy and trepidation. It would be so awesome to have a chunk of time where I didn’t have to do anything but think! At the same time, it would be pretty frightening to have a big chunk of time with nothing to do but think!
The conversation wasn’t really about me, but it made me realize that I need to do a better job of making time every day to think. All the work and errands and chores and cooking and other to dos I try to cram into each day are meaningless and fruitless if I don’t find some time to simply be still. There’s nothing wrong with watching TV and reading and checking social media, but they distract my mind instead of opening it. I must create an empty space so that it can be filled with whatever God wants to speak to me.
It would be nice to have confidence that I’ve got this down now, that I won’t fall into this trap again, but I know better. But I also know that when I get off track, God will place someone in my path to help me find my way. Thanks, Murph!